In a relationship, emotions fly out the window when you ask questions that make you examine is this the person, I really want to spend my life with. Questions about raising a family, motherhood, fatherhood, educating your children, or more relevant to the topic at hand, what do you believe about God, or how do you feel about what God has called me to do. When I was younger and immature, I wanted a “bad” woman. Most younger men want the most attractive woman. Whether she was God-fearing, intelligent, or a good conversationalist or not, physical attraction was the only thing that mattered. These days, I say to myself, I want someone who I can talk to you. You come to appreciate the small things in life such as conversation that makes you enjoy someone’s company. There’s another element to add to the table. Several months ago, I heard the Lord say to me (paraphrasing), she’s not just marrying you. She’s also marrying what I called you to do. After the Lord said this to me, I listened to a teaching of a man who walks with God sometime after. The man of God talked about his nephew, who has a calling in his life. His nephew believed the young lady he was seeing was the one. Until one day the Lord told him she wasn’t. Disappointed, he broke the relationship off. He said to his nephew, if you had married this woman, she would have stopped you from fulfilling your calling. Looking back, he agreed. Hearing this message was confirmation to me that gave me the chills.
I remember asking my ex-girlfriend one day. What if God wants me to travel to other countries to teach the Gospel, would you come? She was quiet for a few seconds and said, “that’s something we could talk about later.” Her response was a disappointing one. I don’t mean this in a demeaning or belittling way, but it was confirmation that she wasn’t the woman God wanted me to marry. Uncertainty about each other is a sure sign you aren’t with the right person.
Everyone’s life is unique. We’re all called to serve God in some capacity. Whether in ministry or in a secular/ corporate setting. Your calling has a responsibility and a commitment. Some assignments may require you to travel locally. Perhaps abroad. If preaching or teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ is your calling, you have to consider does the person I envision being with fits the life God has set apart for me? It’s a question I don’t necessarily have to ask anymore. You come to know that many of your questions are answered by getting to know someone. You listen to them speak and you discern and see where they’re committed to Christ is, what they’re going after to achieve in life, or how they envision the kind of life they want to live.